Diary of a Shopkeeper, 17th March 2024

My notes tell me this is the 208th Diary of a Shopkeeper I’ve published here. That means it’s exactly four years since the first one. Happy birthday, Diary! I’ll be celebrating later with a cup of builder’s and a fattie cuttie. Meanwhile, never mind the quality, look at the quantity. Taken together, those columns add up to roughly 150,000 words: more than Greenvoe, but fewer than War and Peace. If anyone wants to read them all, they’re reproduced on Kirkness & Gorie’s website.

Come to think about it, reading the whole lot might be a suitable punishment for the misguided (or unguided) youths currently causing damage and controversy in some of the town’s public places. Forget bringing back the birch: by the time they got to Diary No. 121, my disquisition on which wine to drink with a Fray & Bentos steak and kidney pie, they’ll be ready to commit to any standard of good behaviour just so long as they can stop reading my ramblings.

What would they find if they looked back on the anniversary Diaries for 2020, 2021, 2022 and 2023? Let’s find out.

March 2020 was a memorable month. The first person to die of Covid in the UK passed away on the 4th. On the 16th, the Prime Minster told us to avoid non-essential contact and travel. Then, a week later, came the announcement of a lockdown: shops were to close, everyone was to stay at home. K&G had already been closed for a week, because, as I recorded in my first column, I’d experienced symptoms I thought might be Covid. At that point no tests were available, so who knows if it was or not. More likely indigestion. Nonetheless, I had something to occupy myself. The Orcadian got in touch, asking if I would write a weekly column about the ‘thoughts and concerns of a local business-person hit by the pandemic.’ So it began.

On March 14th 2021 I was commenting on the recent budget, and the fact that rises in alcohol duty meant that, on every bottle of wine, £2.23 plus VAT went straight to the government. Now the figure for most wines is £2.67 plus VAT, and it’s even harder to find good quality for less than a tenner. I went on to discuss the government’s pouring of £400 billion into the economy to keep it alive during the first year of the Covid crisis. How could they afford that? Because, I wrote, ‘the UK government owns a magic money tree called the Bank of England.  If it shakes the tree at one point and not at another that’s because it chooses to do so, in line with its political preferences at the time.’ The government’s political preferences are as clear as they ever were. This is handy, with an election coming up and choices having to be made. As Maya Angelou said, ‘When someone shows you who they are, believe them first time.’

In March 2022 I was singing the praises of Japan’s national drink, sake, and the activities of the Orkney Japan Association. The OJA had just organised – as they have again this month – a series of stimulating events designed to improve mutual appreciation. I particularly appreciated, two years ago, the Japanese cooking demonstration in King Street Halls. ‘It may seem trivial while war rages in Ukraine,’ I wrote. ‘Yet within living memory our country was locked in total warfare with Japan. It’s thanks to the activities of organisations like the OJA that we have put that time behind us, and can meet in friendship to increase understanding and appreciation of each other’s culture.’ It’s heartbreaking to think that the Ukraine war is still wreaking its dreadful destruction, now matched in tragedy by another in the Middle East.

In March 2023, one of our regular customers, Mrs Stentorian, was complaining about the freezing temperatures in Stromness Town Hall, where she’d been patronising the West Side Cinema. I’ve got good news for her when she next comes in, thanks to the OIC. Last weekend I watched an excellent film there, Hello, Bookstore. Not only was the film heartwarming, but so was the town hall’s new heating system.

So you see, it’s not all bad news.

Our cover picture features Maya Angelou, quoted above.

This diary appeared in The Orcadian on 21st March 2024. A new diary appears weekly. I post them in this blog a few days after each newspaper appearance, with added illustrations., and occasional small corrections or additions.