Diary of a Shopkeeper, 12th September

In last week’s diary I related how Kiwi Kate and Bruce Brass had decided to stand in the council elections next spring.  Kate was motivated by her desire to Kick Out Kruise, and Bruce by his determination to be Bold As Brass.  This week I conclude their conversation.

‘As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted,’ I said, ‘It’s almost as if you believe the council gets to decide what happens with the liners.’

‘They do!’  said Kate, then frowned.  ‘Don’t they?’

‘There’s your first job when you get elected,’ I said.  ‘Campaign to repeal the Harbours, Piers and Docks Act of 1847.  Or maybe just to amend Clause 33: that’s what really determines what happens with the liners.  I’ve got it up on the screen, listen: ‘the harbour, dock, and pier shall be open to all persons for the shipping and unshipping of goods, and the embarking and landing of passengers.’’

‘All persons?’ said Kate.  ‘That means they have to let everyone in.’

‘Even eco-warriors from the other side of the world,’ muttered Bruce.

‘Exactly,’ I said.  ‘The council can’t pick and choose who they let in: it’s the law.’

‘1847?’ Kate shook her head.  ‘Women weren’t even allowed to vote.  I shouldn’t be bound by outdated patriarchal rules.’

‘Not allowed to vote?’ said Bruce.  ‘I doubt you’d have been allowed in the country.’

‘I hadn’t left the country,’ she said.  ‘My great-great-great grandmother was still running Matches’ grocery on Broad Street.’

‘The Matches shop that closed down shortly after James Kirkness opened up next door?’ I said.

‘Kirkness won,’ she said.  ‘He had a much more impressive moustache than my g-g-g-grandma.’

‘I never knew you came from Matches,’ said Bruce, smiling behind his mask.  ‘My mother’s folk were all Firth Matches.’

‘About the liners,’ I said.  ‘I’m sorry, Kate, but that old legislation is still in force.  It was enshrined in the Port Marine Safety Code in 2016.’

Bruce held a finger up.  ‘I’ve got an idea.  Now I ken you and me are sib, Kate, we should get together and start The Matches Party.’

She cocked her head at him.  ‘And what would our policies be?’

‘Ach, no need to worry about that just now. We could sort out some policies later, if we ever needed them.’

I laughed.  ‘You’ll go a long way, beuy.’

‘We’d have to have something environmental in there,’ said Kate.

‘Let me give you a pointer,’ I said.  ‘I mentioned the Port Marine Safety Code.  Paragraph 3.5 outlines the open port duty.  But 3.8 requires environmental responsibility: ‘Harbour authorities have a general duty to exercise their functions with regard to nature conservation and other related environmental considerations.’ If you’re serious about campaigning, maybe that’s an angle you could follow up.  Get your council to demand the highest possible environmental standards from visiting liners, and don’t let ships in if they don’t meet them.  Ports are doing it all over the world: Montreal, Stockholm, the World Heritage Fjords in Norway.  Even Port Canaveral in Florida!’

‘I never kent you were such a swot about all this,’ said Bruce.

‘I’m not,’ I said, ‘But it’s an important subject.  I read up about it, and I think about it, and then I discuss it.  Like you’ll have to if you make it onto the council.’

‘To hell with discussion,’ said Bruce.  ‘I‘m just going to say what I want, and everyone else can make it happen.’

‘I don’t think that’s how democracy works,’ said Kate. 

‘Michty me,’ I said, ‘It’s not even how this shop works!’

. . .

If you want to read the Port Marine Safety Code, you can find the full document here: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/918935/port-marine-safety-code.pdf The paragraphs I mentioned to Kate and Bruce are on pages 28 and 29, but the whole thing is interesting.

The relevant section from the Harbours, Docks and Piers Act of 1847 can be fund here: https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Vict/10-11/27/section/33/2008-02-27?timeline=true

. . .

This diary appeared in The Orcadian on 15th September. Other diaries continue to appear weekly. I am posting them in this blog a few days after each newspaper appearance, with added illustrations., and occasional small corrections or additions.