Diary of a Grumpkeeper, 27th November

I’m pulling on my Kirkwall BID hat this weekend – and it’s a bright red, white-fur-trimmed festive hat. Yes, it’s time for BID’s big Christmas shopping weekend! In the past we’ve had carousels and skating rinks. This year it’s The Grump Who Stole Christmas.

As well as spreading Christmas sparkle on Saturday 3rd, many shops and eateries throughout the town will be opening specially on Sunday 4th to allow that all-important extra day of browsing, shopping and socialising. They’ll have tasters, entertainments, discounts, and special treats for their customers. Every business is different. Drop into your favourites and see what’s on offer. If nothing grabs you, try somewhere else along the street. Kirkwall is lucky to have such an amazing array of businesses, most of them independent and locally owned. At this time of year we’re all trying to outdo each other with the novelty, quality and variety of what we offer.

Kirkwall BID will be doing its best to add extra fun to the whole weekend. The car park next to The Reel on Broad Street will be the centre of activities, with the BID log cabin transformed into The Grump’s Lair. There will be free face painting, a Kirkwall trivia lucky draw with literally hundreds of prizes from discounts to free goodies, to a very generous £120 voucher from Ortak…and photo opportunities with The Grump.

What’s that you say? Who is The Grump? Why, The Grump is the spirit of anti-Christmas! He’s very green, he’s very mean, and he’s coming down from his icy cave on top of Ben Bannock to spread midwinter misery through the town. He doesn’t like toys, he doesn’t like noise, and he doesn’t like treats or feasts. What a grump!

Some say his shoes are too tight. Some say his head isn’t screwed on right. Some say his heart is two sizes too small, and he just can’t cope with all the good cheer that floats around at this time of year. If you’ve seen the film The Grinch Who Stole Christmas you’ll know that The Grinch (surely a first cousin of The Grump?) wasn’t entirely anti-Christmas. Eventually he was won over by the coming together of the Whoville community, his heart grew three sizes, and all ended merry and bright.

Everything will end merry and bright at 5pm on Saturday, for sure, because that’s when the tree lighting ceremony takes place in front of the cathedral, with musical accompaniment by Kirkwall City Pipe Band.

As well as the Grump-related activities, and individual shops and eateries’ promotions, and pop-up buskers and storytelling princesses, there will also be the largest number of BID Peedie Trees ever, over 80, decorated with all the wit and creativity Kirkwall traders can muster – which is a lot! And for the first time there will be a Giant Gift Hunt along the street. Eight enormous gift-wrapped presents will be scattered through the streets from this weekend, and for two weeks. All you have to do is find them, write down the names on the gift tags, and you could be in with the chance of winning a brand-new iPad.

When you’re out and about, you may see some businesses that aren’t open on Sunday. Don’t be Grumpy, please think kindly on them. It could be they’ve found it hard to get extra Christmas staff this year, or it could be they’ve already worked six days and a seventh would be a step too far. If you find your favourite shop closed, don’t be too vexed: there are still 20 shopping days till Christmas.

But The Grump will be gone: if you want to see him, this weekend is your only chance!

For details of our Christmas cheese and wine boxes , have a look at: Christmas 2022.

This diary appeared in The Orcadian on 30th November 2022. A new one appears weekly. I post them in this blog a few days after each newspaper appearance, with added illustrations., and occasional small corrections or additions.

Duncan McLeanComment